"Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide..."
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Do this: Sit down. Pass the back of your hand near your nose and mouth. You will feel nothing. Now close your eyes and do it again. You will feel the warmth of your hand on your lips. You will smell your hand. You will be able to pinpoint sounds and their sources more accurately.
When you lose your sight, the other senses try to compensate by amplifying themselves. This doesn't happen with any other sense. Maybe that's because sight is the most important.
Right now, the thing I'd like second-to-most is to learn to take good photographs. Pictures are like frozen slices of time, that you can always go back to. Music may bring memories of a time back, but pictures actually take you there.
"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art."
When you lose your sight, the other senses try to compensate by amplifying themselves. This doesn't happen with any other sense. Maybe that's because sight is the most important.
Right now, the thing I'd like second-to-most is to learn to take good photographs. Pictures are like frozen slices of time, that you can always go back to. Music may bring memories of a time back, but pictures actually take you there.
"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
So I was looking at my tshirt and wondering.
It's one of those things that your parents bring you in the hope that you'll grow into. My dad lugged it back from DC in the summer of 95, and promptly mothballed it until 2003, whereupon I used it as a rag/mop/bathmat and also wore while doing things to my Herald.
It came out of a 4-pack of them. I asked my dad why on earth he bought 4 tshirts that said Washington DC, and he was like, "Oh there was this Korean family selling them outside the Smithsonian, and it seemed like a bargain". Typical.
Even as a kid, it made me wonder. Selling tshirts outside a museum struck me as the sort of thing poor people did, and at 10 I didn't realise there were poor people in America. I mean, everyone drank Coke and ate burgers, and drove cars.
Then I began to understand. How some people are immigrants. How some people have no choice. How some people give it all up to start afresh, in the hope that things will be better.
It takes guts.
Once in a while, I think about that Korean family. I hope they made it. That their kids went to Harvard or Columbia or MIT, or wherever they wanted to. That they bought their Buick and paid off their mortgage.
It can't be too easy to leave your homeland. They're not particularly good at English, them Koreans. What made them leave the warmth and security of their country, to gamble on a better life thousands of miles away? No knowledge of where they were going, no one to fall back on, no guarantee of success.
Just hope.
It's always hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope that one day, your children will have a better life than you did. Hope that you will have all that you ever wanted. Hope that one day you will find happiness.
"And it’s hope that keeps me holding on
It’s just hope that makes me carry on"
It's one of those things that your parents bring you in the hope that you'll grow into. My dad lugged it back from DC in the summer of 95, and promptly mothballed it until 2003, whereupon I used it as a rag/mop/bathmat and also wore while doing things to my Herald.
It came out of a 4-pack of them. I asked my dad why on earth he bought 4 tshirts that said Washington DC, and he was like, "Oh there was this Korean family selling them outside the Smithsonian, and it seemed like a bargain". Typical.
Even as a kid, it made me wonder. Selling tshirts outside a museum struck me as the sort of thing poor people did, and at 10 I didn't realise there were poor people in America. I mean, everyone drank Coke and ate burgers, and drove cars.
Then I began to understand. How some people are immigrants. How some people have no choice. How some people give it all up to start afresh, in the hope that things will be better.
It takes guts.
Once in a while, I think about that Korean family. I hope they made it. That their kids went to Harvard or Columbia or MIT, or wherever they wanted to. That they bought their Buick and paid off their mortgage.
It can't be too easy to leave your homeland. They're not particularly good at English, them Koreans. What made them leave the warmth and security of their country, to gamble on a better life thousands of miles away? No knowledge of where they were going, no one to fall back on, no guarantee of success.
Just hope.
It's always hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope that one day, your children will have a better life than you did. Hope that you will have all that you ever wanted. Hope that one day you will find happiness.
"And it’s hope that keeps me holding on
It’s just hope that makes me carry on"
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Things I've learnt over the last year or so:
- Most people suck.
- You cannot trust anyone.
- Friends are an illusion. Friendship, doubly so. People take what they want, and give what they feel like. If this mutual whoremongering works out, beautiful. Otherwise, fuck off.
- It's your life. No one else cares. Don't expect them to, either.
- It has little to do with how hard you work or strive for something. Shit happens.
- Alcohol never solved anything. But then, neither did milk. So drink as much as you want.
- I'm really bad with money.
- Grab that holiday while you can. You may never get the chance again.
- Grab whatever it is, while you can. You may never get the chance again.
- Nothing lasts forever.
- Driving drunk may be dangerous, but it's fun as hell.
- When faced with a situation, ask yourself 'What's the point?' The right path will become apparent.
- Most people don't suck. They all do.
- Most people suck.
- You cannot trust anyone.
- Friends are an illusion. Friendship, doubly so. People take what they want, and give what they feel like. If this mutual whoremongering works out, beautiful. Otherwise, fuck off.
- It's your life. No one else cares. Don't expect them to, either.
- It has little to do with how hard you work or strive for something. Shit happens.
- Alcohol never solved anything. But then, neither did milk. So drink as much as you want.
- I'm really bad with money.
- Grab that holiday while you can. You may never get the chance again.
- Grab whatever it is, while you can. You may never get the chance again.
- Nothing lasts forever.
- Driving drunk may be dangerous, but it's fun as hell.
- When faced with a situation, ask yourself 'What's the point?' The right path will become apparent.
- Most people don't suck. They all do.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
For teaching me to
Believe. Laugh. Learn. Love. Live. Dance. Listen. Smile. Trust. Think. See. Enjoy. Dream. Cry. Covet. Hold. Touch. Sense. Care. Open my eyes. Take pride in. Believe in myself. Speak my mind. Hold a hand. Lean on someone. Break free. Be brave. Think about myself. Live for today. Live for someone. Believe in someone. Give it all I've got. Give it a shot. Open my eyes. Take joy in. Smell the flowers. Chase the sun.
For teaching me to be me, by being you.
Thank you.
Believe. Laugh. Learn. Love. Live. Dance. Listen. Smile. Trust. Think. See. Enjoy. Dream. Cry. Covet. Hold. Touch. Sense. Care. Open my eyes. Take pride in. Believe in myself. Speak my mind. Hold a hand. Lean on someone. Break free. Be brave. Think about myself. Live for today. Live for someone. Believe in someone. Give it all I've got. Give it a shot. Open my eyes. Take joy in. Smell the flowers. Chase the sun.
For teaching me to be me, by being you.
Thank you.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
To the man who had the vision to change history. Who had the courage to pursue his dream. Who had the faith in his people, and his country, to overcome all odds.
Fifty years from now, they will speak of it in the same breath as the Beetle, and the Model T. And then we will say, yes, we were there. We saw it take shape. We were there.
Ratan Tata, I bow to you.
"A promise is a promise."
Fifty years from now, they will speak of it in the same breath as the Beetle, and the Model T. And then we will say, yes, we were there. We saw it take shape. We were there.
Ratan Tata, I bow to you.
"A promise is a promise."
Friday, January 11, 2008
Someone wise once said: "The hardest thing you can do is make people believe. To believe in you. To believe in themselves. To believe in the truth."
I startle myself.
I startle myself.
Monday, January 07, 2008
"You don't win silver, you lose gold."
So this is how it feels to not get what you want.
"Second is first among the losers."
Rage. Blood red rage.
Lots of anger and hate.
"Young at heart and it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now"
It seems so far away, just like yesterday, an eternity ago, little large heads with big, wide eyes and curly hair. Driving home for the first time, like everytime.
"So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see"
It feels like I've failed this really big exam and now I have to face the consequences. My throat swells up with fear/anxiety, my cheeks flush, my head and eyes ache, all the usual "Erm, Mom and Dad, I didn't do too well..." symptoms. Except they don't go away. For weeks on end.
"When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time"
Lots of hate. Lots of love.
Lots of questions.
"Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven"
"I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die "
Ironically,
"Tommy whispers 'Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
It doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not"
In the end, Ozzy is always right...
"You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long
Mama, I'm coming home"
So this is how it feels to not get what you want.
"Second is first among the losers."
Rage. Blood red rage.
Lots of anger and hate.
"Young at heart and it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now"
It seems so far away, just like yesterday, an eternity ago, little large heads with big, wide eyes and curly hair. Driving home for the first time, like everytime.
"So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see"
It feels like I've failed this really big exam and now I have to face the consequences. My throat swells up with fear/anxiety, my cheeks flush, my head and eyes ache, all the usual "Erm, Mom and Dad, I didn't do too well..." symptoms. Except they don't go away. For weeks on end.
"When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time"
Lots of hate. Lots of love.
Lots of questions.
"Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven"
"I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die "
Ironically,
"Tommy whispers 'Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
It doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not"
In the end, Ozzy is always right...
"You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long
Mama, I'm coming home"
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
First it was The Bangalore Torpedo. Then it was Essel. Then hAAthi. Now Sister Bliss has disappeared. The world is shrinking, and it ain't very nice.
In memory of a tale, untitled, written by my own mother Mary.
"And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be."
In memory of a tale, untitled, written by my own mother Mary.
"And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be."
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
It's like all the constants are disappearing. The familiar and mundane are no more. It's a whole new world, and no one's told me how to live in it.
Guess who's gone?!
And I feel totally youknowwhatted. Six big fat fuckin' drinks at Opus doesn't help. Neither does the fact that I got most of the answers right, but my team-mate forgot to write our table number down.
This made up it for somewhat. I actually kept ahead of him for a bit.
"A wild ride, over stony ground
Such a lust for life, the circus comes to town
We are the hungry ones, on a lightning raid
Just like a river runs, like a fire needs flame"
Guess who's gone?!
And I feel totally youknowwhatted. Six big fat fuckin' drinks at Opus doesn't help. Neither does the fact that I got most of the answers right, but my team-mate forgot to write our table number down.
This made up it for somewhat. I actually kept ahead of him for a bit.
"A wild ride, over stony ground
Such a lust for life, the circus comes to town
We are the hungry ones, on a lightning raid
Just like a river runs, like a fire needs flame"
Sunday, November 18, 2007
For some reason, at this moment, I wish I were Shilo.
"...soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing, cos I'd know how it feels to be free"
"...soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing, cos I'd know how it feels to be free"
Friday, November 16, 2007
The 14th was one of the worst days of my life.
Cheerupcheerupcheerupchinupcheerup. Whoopdedoo then.
Oh, and the Torpedo & The Other have upped and left. Sex bomb.
When it rains, it fucking comes down like everyone's just pissing all over you. After an all-night drinking session.
And WHY THE FUCK DOES MY WMP ALWAYS PLAY IRIS?! Do I fucking look like I need to hear 'You're the closest to heaven I'll ever be'?!
No fucking song for anyone today. Fuck off.
ps. sounds like Dr Pissed.
Cheerupcheerupcheerupchinupcheerup. Whoopdedoo then.
Oh, and the Torpedo & The Other have upped and left. Sex bomb.
When it rains, it fucking comes down like everyone's just pissing all over you. After an all-night drinking session.
And WHY THE FUCK DOES MY WMP ALWAYS PLAY IRIS?! Do I fucking look like I need to hear 'You're the closest to heaven I'll ever be'?!
No fucking song for anyone today. Fuck off.
ps. sounds like Dr Pissed.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
What if... a long, long time ago... somebody told you that you would one day live on a beautiful planet, surrounded by stars and mountains and oceans and where almost anything was possible...
What if they told you that you'd have the ability to laugh and sing and love... and that you'd also be met by many interesting, sometimes painful challenges, all of them designed to teach you important lessons you will need for future journeys.
What if somebody told you this hundreds of years ago - before you were even born? Would you have believed them?
"Mother mother, tell your children
That their time has just begun"
What if they told you that you'd have the ability to laugh and sing and love... and that you'd also be met by many interesting, sometimes painful challenges, all of them designed to teach you important lessons you will need for future journeys.
What if somebody told you this hundreds of years ago - before you were even born? Would you have believed them?
"Mother mother, tell your children
That their time has just begun"
Monday, November 05, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
1. What is your middle name?
I don't have one.
2. How big is your bed?
Big enough for me.
3.What are you listening to right now?
Agnisakshi - Kitna Mushkil Hai.
4. What was the last thing you ate?
One scoop fig 'n' honey, one scoop butterscotch.
5. Last person you hugged?
Teju Auntie. My mom.
6. How is the weather right now?
Cold. Rainy.
7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I think it was Sreshta.
8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The way they look?!
9. Favorite type of Food?
Edible. Spicy. Tangy. Tasty. Non-vegetarian. Dessert. Icecream.
10. Do you want children?
Yes. But I can't have them.
11. Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Yes.
12. Last Movie you watched?
Johnny Gaddaar.
13. Do you have any piercings?
None. Needles terrify me.
14. Favorite Movie?
T2: Judgement Day. Blade. I don't know, there are just so many.
15. What were you doing before filling this out?
Random reading.
16. Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.
17. Who would you like to see right now?
Someone who gives me a shitload of money.
18. What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream/off white. Bleah.
19. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes. Many. Airguns. 9mms. LMGs. MMGs. HMGs.
20. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yes
21. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right-handed.
22. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
The past.
23. Are you missing someone?
Yes. No. It's a tough call.
24. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
No, but I wish I did.
25. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Still my bike.
26. Favorite hangout:
Used to be Purple Haze. Then Spinn. In between, a succession of garages and Coffee Days, and a Barista. Now I think it's Sutra.
27. 3 things you can't live without?
Speed. Food. Sleep.
28. Favorite songs?
A lot of Bon Jovi, GNR, I love rock. Some Tupac. Shit man, I listen to a lot of stuff.
29. What are you afraid of?
The future. Myself.
30. Are you a giver or a taker?
I would like to say both, but I suspect it's a bit more of the latter.
31. What are your nicknames?
I don't have any, unless you count fuckshay and viper.
32. What do you sleep in?
Boxers
33. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
Satellite phone with full network coverage and battery.
34. First thing you'll save in a fire?
People! Myself!!
35. What is your favorite color?
BLUE!!!
36. What are the things you always bring with you?
Phones. Money, if I have any.
37. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
Nothing major. A Harvard MBA. I'm really boring.
38. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
Put it off and go back to sleep.
39. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Whether I will fall asleep. How tough it would be to drive an LP640 in Bangalore.
"We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines"
I don't have one.
2. How big is your bed?
Big enough for me.
3.What are you listening to right now?
Agnisakshi - Kitna Mushkil Hai.
4. What was the last thing you ate?
One scoop fig 'n' honey, one scoop butterscotch.
5. Last person you hugged?
Teju Auntie. My mom.
6. How is the weather right now?
Cold. Rainy.
7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I think it was Sreshta.
8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The way they look?!
9. Favorite type of Food?
Edible. Spicy. Tangy. Tasty. Non-vegetarian. Dessert. Icecream.
10. Do you want children?
Yes. But I can't have them.
11. Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Yes.
12. Last Movie you watched?
Johnny Gaddaar.
13. Do you have any piercings?
None. Needles terrify me.
14. Favorite Movie?
T2: Judgement Day. Blade. I don't know, there are just so many.
15. What were you doing before filling this out?
Random reading.
16. Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.
17. Who would you like to see right now?
Someone who gives me a shitload of money.
18. What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream/off white. Bleah.
19. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes. Many. Airguns. 9mms. LMGs. MMGs. HMGs.
20. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yes
21. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right-handed.
22. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
The past.
23. Are you missing someone?
Yes. No. It's a tough call.
24. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
No, but I wish I did.
25. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Still my bike.
26. Favorite hangout:
Used to be Purple Haze. Then Spinn. In between, a succession of garages and Coffee Days, and a Barista. Now I think it's Sutra.
27. 3 things you can't live without?
Speed. Food. Sleep.
28. Favorite songs?
A lot of Bon Jovi, GNR, I love rock. Some Tupac. Shit man, I listen to a lot of stuff.
29. What are you afraid of?
The future. Myself.
30. Are you a giver or a taker?
I would like to say both, but I suspect it's a bit more of the latter.
31. What are your nicknames?
I don't have any, unless you count fuckshay and viper.
32. What do you sleep in?
Boxers
33. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
Satellite phone with full network coverage and battery.
34. First thing you'll save in a fire?
People! Myself!!
35. What is your favorite color?
BLUE!!!
36. What are the things you always bring with you?
Phones. Money, if I have any.
37. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
Nothing major. A Harvard MBA. I'm really boring.
38. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
Put it off and go back to sleep.
39. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Whether I will fall asleep. How tough it would be to drive an LP640 in Bangalore.
"We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines"
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Things that I miss:
Companionship. Someone to take care of me. Someone to call at 3:21 am. Someone to laugh with. Friendship. Laughs. Someone to cry at. Someone to hold. Someone to hold me when I'm drunk. Someone to drive me home. Someone to drive home. Someone to giggle with. Someone who understands me. Someone to write letters to. Someone to hang out with. Someone to be myself wth. Someone to share long drives with. Someone to dance with. Someone to love.
"When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?"
Companionship. Someone to take care of me. Someone to call at 3:21 am. Someone to laugh with. Friendship. Laughs. Someone to cry at. Someone to hold. Someone to hold me when I'm drunk. Someone to drive me home. Someone to drive home. Someone to giggle with. Someone who understands me. Someone to write letters to. Someone to hang out with. Someone to be myself wth. Someone to share long drives with. Someone to dance with. Someone to love.
"When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?"
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
"Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem... to find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure"
"Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
Yes I've gotta have faith..."
It's haunting how I can't seem... to find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure"
"Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
Yes I've gotta have faith..."
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
'Tis the season of grass, and watching old matches brings back memories. Of curling into a chair to watch people scale height of greatness that mortals only dream about. And that brought back some memories. Of gods among men. And women. 
Fraulein Forehand : The greatest women's player of my childhood. I only began to appreciate how great when she was near retirement. Her mastery was absolute, her dedication was laser-like, her forehand was savage.
Czech mate: She did it all. And did it all again. And again. The unstoppable Martina.
The Punisher: From the long-haired freak with the neon racquet at my first Championships, to the man who overcame everything to win again. The only man to be ranked Top 10 in 3 different decades.
Pistol Pete: The king of Wimbledon. Simply the best. Like Becker said "He has the keys to the place". A serve that was poetry in motion, a backhand that was devastating, a game that was perfect.
The Rabbit: Always No. 1 to me. The heartbreak of losing 3 finals, a wildcard entry, and then this. An epic, 3 hour plus five-setter. The only time I cried while watching anything. Probably the best serve ever. "In every game I play there are three players in me that could surface anytime, Good Goran, Bad Goran, Crazy Goran! They can all serve aces."
.
.
"For those of you, for those who rock
Yeah
We salute you"
Monday, June 25, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
RD. SBK. VFR. VF. Honda. Yamaha. Motorsmiths. Tyres. Yokohama. Michelin. Koshy's. Rohith. Job. Salary. Rain. Exams. Helmet. Puma. Driving. Racing. Speed Run. Audi. Land Cruiser. Girls. Friends. Betrayals. Stupidity. Alcohol. Alcoholism. Sutra. Purple Haze. Adam. Swedes. Floyd. Stupid Brits. Drunk old men. Beer. Vodka. Scotch. Forest. Safari. Sumo. Drive. Drink. Eat. Brain. Party. Sick child. Old men. Drunk old men. Stupid old men. Inferiority complex. Calm down. Peace. Scream. 1.30 am. Civility. Life. Death. Love. Hate. Silence. Rock music. Benny Benassi. Cake. Tequila. Fights. Punches. Wounds. Tears. Fears. Tears.
Tears.
"Times have changed, and times are strange..."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
1. Do u like ur name and know its origin?
Never given it much thought, and yes, I know its origin, or what it means.
2. If given a choice sex or food???
Tough tough. Sex on the dining table. Eating food off someone.
3. Do you love your siblings/cousins??
Some of them. Not all.
4. Do you believe in angels??
Yes. Heavenly ones and the ones that you meet around the corner.
5. Whats the one thing that brings a twinkle to your eye??
Speed. Rock music. Good food. Damn, just one?
6. When was the last time, you did something meaningful for someone else?
Erm, I got a friend cheap tyres some time ago...
7. What are you listening to right now?
Guns 'n' Roses - November Rain. Probably one of the greatest rock ballads ever.
8. Will you go to heaven or hell?
I don't know. I hope heaven is a fun place.
9. Poster paints or watercolours or crayons?
I don't know the difference, but poster paints sound like fun.
10. Favourite time of the day?
Sleeptime, mealtime, drivetime.
"We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away..."
Never given it much thought, and yes, I know its origin, or what it means.
2. If given a choice sex or food???
Tough tough. Sex on the dining table. Eating food off someone.
3. Do you love your siblings/cousins??
Some of them. Not all.
4. Do you believe in angels??
Yes. Heavenly ones and the ones that you meet around the corner.
5. Whats the one thing that brings a twinkle to your eye??
Speed. Rock music. Good food. Damn, just one?
6. When was the last time, you did something meaningful for someone else?
Erm, I got a friend cheap tyres some time ago...
7. What are you listening to right now?
Guns 'n' Roses - November Rain. Probably one of the greatest rock ballads ever.
8. Will you go to heaven or hell?
I don't know. I hope heaven is a fun place.
9. Poster paints or watercolours or crayons?
I don't know the difference, but poster paints sound like fun.
10. Favourite time of the day?
Sleeptime, mealtime, drivetime.
"We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away..."
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Guns N' Roses - November Rain
I feel the need to write, to say something. I don't know what. I'm surrounded by half-truths, shadows, ambiguities, uncertainties. And alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
It's strange. I've never felt the need to wake up in the middle of the night and write. Until now. And yet, I don't know what to say.
Are all good writers gay?
When I was younger (not that I'm terribly aged), the words used to flow more easily. It's easier when life is less complicated.
Jesus, I sound like I'm on death row.
"One fine day we'll fly away
Don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day"
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
Black mole-like thing on my right wrist. It's an embedded pencil lead. Don't ask how...
2. What is on the walls in your room?
Nothing. Used to be a coupla posters of the Murcielago and the Brera, and a Ninja vs Busa race.
3. Whats your phone like?
Cool symmetrical, rounded yet angular, chrome, matte, satin finished, black, powerful, useful, Nokia.
4. What music do you listen to?
Anything. English, Hindi, Swahili, French, house, techno, rock, metal, hip-hop...
5. What is your current desktop picture?
Dodge Viper, and my bike.
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
To be happy
7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Stupid and illogical question. If you mean do I support it, yes, I do. People should be allowed to do what they want.
8. What time were you born?
3.53 am.
9. Are your parents still together?
Yes.
10. What are you listening to?
The sound of the fan. Fatboy Slim - Don't Let The Man Get You Down. Tomorrow, Aerosmith.
11. Do you get scared of the dark?
No.
12. The last person to make you cry?
Me?
13. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
I'm bad with names. Most of them smell good, though.
14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
Anything. I'm not one for stereotypes or fetishes.
15. Do you like pain killers?
Never tried them.
16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
I don't know. Haven't tried it in years. Maybe. Depends. I'm full of ambiguities.
17. Favorite pizza topping?
Chicken of all sorts. Ham. Bacon. Pork. Pepperoni. Extra cheese.
18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
That bloody pizza question did it. Extra cheese and pepperoni for me. Chocolate shake, mousse, HCF magnum too. With some biriyani and Pepsi. How about a Subway sandwich?
19. Who was the last person you made mad?
Me?
20. Is anyone in love with you?
I hope so. I need it.
"And the sign said, long haired freaky people need not apply..."
Black mole-like thing on my right wrist. It's an embedded pencil lead. Don't ask how...
2. What is on the walls in your room?
Nothing. Used to be a coupla posters of the Murcielago and the Brera, and a Ninja vs Busa race.
3. Whats your phone like?
Cool symmetrical, rounded yet angular, chrome, matte, satin finished, black, powerful, useful, Nokia.
4. What music do you listen to?
Anything. English, Hindi, Swahili, French, house, techno, rock, metal, hip-hop...
5. What is your current desktop picture?
Dodge Viper, and my bike.
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
To be happy
7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Stupid and illogical question. If you mean do I support it, yes, I do. People should be allowed to do what they want.
8. What time were you born?
3.53 am.
9. Are your parents still together?
Yes.
10. What are you listening to?
The sound of the fan. Fatboy Slim - Don't Let The Man Get You Down. Tomorrow, Aerosmith.
11. Do you get scared of the dark?
No.
12. The last person to make you cry?
Me?
13. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
I'm bad with names. Most of them smell good, though.
14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
Anything. I'm not one for stereotypes or fetishes.
15. Do you like pain killers?
Never tried them.
16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
I don't know. Haven't tried it in years. Maybe. Depends. I'm full of ambiguities.
17. Favorite pizza topping?
Chicken of all sorts. Ham. Bacon. Pork. Pepperoni. Extra cheese.
18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
That bloody pizza question did it. Extra cheese and pepperoni for me. Chocolate shake, mousse, HCF magnum too. With some biriyani and Pepsi. How about a Subway sandwich?
19. Who was the last person you made mad?
Me?
20. Is anyone in love with you?
I hope so. I need it.
"And the sign said, long haired freaky people need not apply..."
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The problem is blame. Who do I blame? I blame myself. I blame my parents. I blame my friends. I blame my lack of friends. I blame myself.
I hate the rain. I love the rain. I don't know anything. My thoughts are random and scattered, and I am losing my grip on reality. I would call it dropping the ball, but I suspect I've never held it in the first place.
When it rains, it pours. Like it has over the last few days. Nothing seems to be going right. I wish things would go right and I didn't have to fight to get my way all the time. I wish people cared. I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I could stop wishing for things I'll never have.
It is such a wretched feeling to be held prisoner to others' whims and fancies, to others' wishes and vagaries. I detest the feeling of powerlessness that pervades my days. Held prisoner to the whims of my parents, the BMTC, the rain gods, the garage mechanics, the college idiots, I hate it all.
I hate the rain. I love the rain. I don't know anything. My thoughts are random and scattered, and I am losing my grip on reality. I would call it dropping the ball, but I suspect I've never held it in the first place.
When it rains, it pours. Like it has over the last few days. Nothing seems to be going right. I wish things would go right and I didn't have to fight to get my way all the time. I wish people cared. I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I could stop wishing for things I'll never have.
It is such a wretched feeling to be held prisoner to others' whims and fancies, to others' wishes and vagaries. I detest the feeling of powerlessness that pervades my days. Held prisoner to the whims of my parents, the BMTC, the rain gods, the garage mechanics, the college idiots, I hate it all.
Friday, May 25, 2007
You lose track of who you are and what you want. Sometimes it's too late. I've discovered this.
I'm sorry. For not being there. For not being on time. For not taking time out. For not thinking. For not caring. And now I will live with the guilt to the day I die.
This was supposed to be longer. But the words won't flow.
I'm sorry. For not being there. For not being on time. For not taking time out. For not thinking. For not caring. And now I will live with the guilt to the day I die.
This was supposed to be longer. But the words won't flow.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
There are the sort that you meet, hit it off with, and lose touch with. Then there are the other sort. The sort that you call at 3 am. The sort that you miss when you move away. The sort that you wouldn't think you'd ever miss. The sort that make that leap of faith, to keep in touch, when you won't.
Mohit: It all starts here. The kid who broke his hand and borrowed my homework. Mr Bhalla's birthday party: the social event of the 3rd grade. Learnt to play cricket, rather badly, with him. Funnily, he plays rather well. Mr Perfect Host. Mr Perfect. Probably won't remember, but he knew Malkit Singh's Gur Nal Ishq Mita before it became famous. Now an investment consultant in his own white Accord. Always unflappable, always sophisticated, always Mr Mohit Bhalla.
Prathap: I only met him because his was the bus stop after mine. And my teacher thought since my English was good, I could decipher his accent. After all these years he still calls when he's in town. Standing invite to Chicago, IL. Near-doctor, tennis ace, sometime businessman, one-time best friend.
Dhruv: Maadu-man will always pull you down. You reach out for a high-five and he stares at you. Joke's on you suddenly. He's the guy that went to the P.Ed coach for 'maths tuition' and ended up captain of the cricket team. Lars Ulrich wannabe, though I suspect he likes John Bonham more. Always calls when he's in town. Makes that extra effort. I wish I did.
Namratha: The caterpillar that metamorphosed into Ms Reddy. Full-too, as she would say. Makes me laugh uncontrollably when I try to be nice to her. Has a surprisingly sharp eye for a good photo. The next Howard Roark, standing naked on the edge of the cliff. Lives here, lives there, keeps trying to go clubbing with me. Never happens. Well, she tries.
Mahua: Funnily, she finds her way into this list. Her presence is disarming. I see shades of myself in her, down to the dislike of parents and the life full of lectures. Her driving escapades are the stuff of legend, as is her relationship with Obata-san. Not sure what she wants or how, but like Baz said, some of the most interesting people never do.
Swati: I don't know what I did, but she's stopped talking to me, or so it would seem. Oh well, can't do much.
Anu: The person who calls on the last day of her holiday and then shouts at me for not calling her. Another architect, with another good eye for a pic. Current self-portrait in shades, fur and bling makes her look like gangsta.
Rahul: Another surprise entry. Wild-card seems more appropriate. Driving skill of a pro, mental state of a 13 year old. Well, physical state too. Ultra-loyal, and you always know where you stand with him. Just don't do business with him!
Revati: It all ends here.
"We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes"
Mohit: It all starts here. The kid who broke his hand and borrowed my homework. Mr Bhalla's birthday party: the social event of the 3rd grade. Learnt to play cricket, rather badly, with him. Funnily, he plays rather well. Mr Perfect Host. Mr Perfect. Probably won't remember, but he knew Malkit Singh's Gur Nal Ishq Mita before it became famous. Now an investment consultant in his own white Accord. Always unflappable, always sophisticated, always Mr Mohit Bhalla.
Prathap: I only met him because his was the bus stop after mine. And my teacher thought since my English was good, I could decipher his accent. After all these years he still calls when he's in town. Standing invite to Chicago, IL. Near-doctor, tennis ace, sometime businessman, one-time best friend.
Dhruv: Maadu-man will always pull you down. You reach out for a high-five and he stares at you. Joke's on you suddenly. He's the guy that went to the P.Ed coach for 'maths tuition' and ended up captain of the cricket team. Lars Ulrich wannabe, though I suspect he likes John Bonham more. Always calls when he's in town. Makes that extra effort. I wish I did.
Namratha: The caterpillar that metamorphosed into Ms Reddy. Full-too, as she would say. Makes me laugh uncontrollably when I try to be nice to her. Has a surprisingly sharp eye for a good photo. The next Howard Roark, standing naked on the edge of the cliff. Lives here, lives there, keeps trying to go clubbing with me. Never happens. Well, she tries.
Mahua: Funnily, she finds her way into this list. Her presence is disarming. I see shades of myself in her, down to the dislike of parents and the life full of lectures. Her driving escapades are the stuff of legend, as is her relationship with Obata-san. Not sure what she wants or how, but like Baz said, some of the most interesting people never do.
Swati: I don't know what I did, but she's stopped talking to me, or so it would seem. Oh well, can't do much.
Anu: The person who calls on the last day of her holiday and then shouts at me for not calling her. Another architect, with another good eye for a pic. Current self-portrait in shades, fur and bling makes her look like gangsta.
Rahul: Another surprise entry. Wild-card seems more appropriate. Driving skill of a pro, mental state of a 13 year old. Well, physical state too. Ultra-loyal, and you always know where you stand with him. Just don't do business with him!
Revati: It all ends here.
"We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes"
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
It is the best of times. It is the worst of times.
Things move uneasily beneath the surface. I know now how mute people feel. People who have no idea of the concept of verbal expression. I cannot express what I cannot comprehend. Nameless, shapeless, dark fears. Bright sunny days. Long dark nights.
I used to think I wrote well. Now I realise I'm full of (sh)it. Good writers are those who can portray their emotions through their words. Whacked by my own yardstick.
I wonder if this is how it feels when your world begins to crumble. All the truths and the lies swim together to make a large collage. It's tough to separate them, you know. Live the lie. Truth be told, I don't know what the truth is anymore.
Help.
"You ask about my consience
And I offer you my soul
You ask If I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well,I've seen love come
And I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain"
Things move uneasily beneath the surface. I know now how mute people feel. People who have no idea of the concept of verbal expression. I cannot express what I cannot comprehend. Nameless, shapeless, dark fears. Bright sunny days. Long dark nights.
I used to think I wrote well. Now I realise I'm full of (sh)it. Good writers are those who can portray their emotions through their words. Whacked by my own yardstick.
I wonder if this is how it feels when your world begins to crumble. All the truths and the lies swim together to make a large collage. It's tough to separate them, you know. Live the lie. Truth be told, I don't know what the truth is anymore.
Help.
"You ask about my consience
And I offer you my soul
You ask If I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well,I've seen love come
And I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain"
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
It waits patiently in the night. All is black, save for a few blinking lights. Others buzz about, near, yet wrapped in their own worlds. Shrieks rend the air, and the din is ear-splitting.
It though, is still more silent than not. A gentle hum. It looks down the pathway, and steadies itself. Signals course up and down its body, as it prepares to hurl itself forward. It is now ready, ready as it will ever be. Slowly, it moves forward. It shrieks, a scream of pure primeval agony, enough to turn the hardest man deaf in an instant. The shriek rises in pitch. Slowly, with a grace that defies its bulk, it climbs into the night sky. Pure white against inky black.
I know I am supposed to be an engineer. I know cars and engines inside out. But nothing touches my soul like seeing a few thousand pounds of metal climbing into the sky under its own power. The miracle of human flight is truly awesome. A century and some ago, the richest man on earth couldn't get up there, and today it's yours for Rs 324 plus taxes.
"High, higher than the sun..."
It though, is still more silent than not. A gentle hum. It looks down the pathway, and steadies itself. Signals course up and down its body, as it prepares to hurl itself forward. It is now ready, ready as it will ever be. Slowly, it moves forward. It shrieks, a scream of pure primeval agony, enough to turn the hardest man deaf in an instant. The shriek rises in pitch. Slowly, with a grace that defies its bulk, it climbs into the night sky. Pure white against inky black.
I know I am supposed to be an engineer. I know cars and engines inside out. But nothing touches my soul like seeing a few thousand pounds of metal climbing into the sky under its own power. The miracle of human flight is truly awesome. A century and some ago, the richest man on earth couldn't get up there, and today it's yours for Rs 324 plus taxes.
"High, higher than the sun..."
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
When I'm gone, who will miss me? Who will stand at their wedding and wonder how it would feel if I were there? Who will miss me at birthdays? Who will think of the way I did things? Who will look at something and say, damn, reminds me of him?
Today I learnt that no one will. If no one remembers you, for who you are and what you do, when you are around, who will remember you when you are gone?
"Everything I am,
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone"
Today I learnt that no one will. If no one remembers you, for who you are and what you do, when you are around, who will remember you when you are gone?
"Everything I am,
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone"
Sunday, September 24, 2006
I wish I knew how this felt...
http://cjcphoto.com/can/
"...it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot, for love,
We'll give it a shot."
http://cjcphoto.com/can/
"...it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot, for love,
We'll give it a shot."
Monday, September 18, 2006
The return is hardly triumphant. I find myself with no one to talk to. Ironic, given the date.
It's all falling apart. The days, the daze. Nothing makes sense, it's like running in place. Chasing the horizon on a treadmill. Except I'd be a lot thinner.
To experience true loneliness is something no one should ever undergo. Darkness, thick like a blanket, pervades the soul. Sense turns senseless, and the mind is with fear. Thoughts struggle to form, and words struggle to flow. Thick, like snakes coiled around each other, they writhe, sticking to the roof of the mouth and the mind, reluctant to morph into shapes more recognizable.
I. A single character, alone. Surrounded by space and a period.
The experiences over the last few weeks have been varied. Tri-state all-night drives. Rendezvous in distant places. Wake-up calls, both literal and metaphorical. A sense of impending doom. Hilarious laughter. Wracking sobs.
The hardest thing you can do is make people believe. To believe in you. To believe in themselves. To believe in the truth.
"...And I wish you could know how it is to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free."
It's all falling apart. The days, the daze. Nothing makes sense, it's like running in place. Chasing the horizon on a treadmill. Except I'd be a lot thinner.
To experience true loneliness is something no one should ever undergo. Darkness, thick like a blanket, pervades the soul. Sense turns senseless, and the mind is with fear. Thoughts struggle to form, and words struggle to flow. Thick, like snakes coiled around each other, they writhe, sticking to the roof of the mouth and the mind, reluctant to morph into shapes more recognizable.
I. A single character, alone. Surrounded by space and a period.
The experiences over the last few weeks have been varied. Tri-state all-night drives. Rendezvous in distant places. Wake-up calls, both literal and metaphorical. A sense of impending doom. Hilarious laughter. Wracking sobs.
The hardest thing you can do is make people believe. To believe in you. To believe in themselves. To believe in the truth.
"...And I wish you could know how it is to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free."
Thursday, July 13, 2006
After years of exhaustive research, I have decided that the position of India's top mass-produced chocolate ice-cream must be shared between Dairy Day, and Amul. Both, in their own way, are mindbogglingly good.
Dairy Day brings to the table (and the bowl) a very deep, dark flavour. Dare I say it, a South Indian interpretation of chocolate. The underlying current, though, is rather shallow. The knockout punch is seemingly delivered in the first bite, but then it falls flat on itself. Yet, it is the sort of ice-cream that you will not hesitate to rob small children of. Cheap too.
Amul. That very word brings to the mind's eye countless Gujarati ben-folk massaging bovine udders, dressed in all manner of shiny colourful mirror-festooned lehengas, singing "Jahaan doodh ki nadiyan behti hai...". Unfortunately, chocolate is something that comes from Brazil. And messrs Kurien, Modi, Patel and Anand haven't quite mastered that yet. It tastes like Amul milk chocolate. And that was more milk than chocolate. Amul chocolate was for the cheap parents who wanted to make sure their kid got his share of doodh and did his bit for the poor. And it still brings those feelings to the fore. But still, a very very good ice-cream.
Unlike our friends from Kwality Walls. I mean, what sort of a name is that anyway? Is Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y such a tough ask? And walls? Don't they hold people in, like in prison? Or school? What sort of kid wants to be reminded of school while eating ice-cream? AND IT'S NOT EVEN ICE-CREAM!!! It's low-fat frozen yogurt slim light delight CRAP. We want FAT! We are Indians, we don't do diet! Go away! And don't give us the world's favourite bloody dessert, the Youbetta!
Blech.
But I hear Mother Dairy is coming to town. That means a whole new review system in place, for 3 separate competitors. It's a tough job...
Dairy Day brings to the table (and the bowl) a very deep, dark flavour. Dare I say it, a South Indian interpretation of chocolate. The underlying current, though, is rather shallow. The knockout punch is seemingly delivered in the first bite, but then it falls flat on itself. Yet, it is the sort of ice-cream that you will not hesitate to rob small children of. Cheap too.
Amul. That very word brings to the mind's eye countless Gujarati ben-folk massaging bovine udders, dressed in all manner of shiny colourful mirror-festooned lehengas, singing "Jahaan doodh ki nadiyan behti hai...". Unfortunately, chocolate is something that comes from Brazil. And messrs Kurien, Modi, Patel and Anand haven't quite mastered that yet. It tastes like Amul milk chocolate. And that was more milk than chocolate. Amul chocolate was for the cheap parents who wanted to make sure their kid got his share of doodh and did his bit for the poor. And it still brings those feelings to the fore. But still, a very very good ice-cream.
Unlike our friends from Kwality Walls. I mean, what sort of a name is that anyway? Is Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y such a tough ask? And walls? Don't they hold people in, like in prison? Or school? What sort of kid wants to be reminded of school while eating ice-cream? AND IT'S NOT EVEN ICE-CREAM!!! It's low-fat frozen yogurt slim light delight CRAP. We want FAT! We are Indians, we don't do diet! Go away! And don't give us the world's favourite bloody dessert, the Youbetta!
Blech.
But I hear Mother Dairy is coming to town. That means a whole new review system in place, for 3 separate competitors. It's a tough job...
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
I'm still alive. Barely...
My head is empty. Full of shit, and so empty. Much like my life. I don't know what the fuck goes on everyday. I live in some crappy place now, where the sun don't shine. It's like living in someone's ass. It's gloomy and dark and my floor has shiny white tiles and I have a fluorescent tube on my wall. It's a lot like something from a bad sci-fi movie, except I don't have a tri-phase module to blow my enemies up with. And I can't talk to Scottie, because cell-phone reception is zilch. My computer is back online, and it's only now that I remember how much it SUCKS. It's like a zoo of viruses or whatevers, and it can't get through a single porn movie without shutting down or rebooting or hanging. And these are only 10 min movies.
I'm done complaining. Oh, and I'm really fat. But the fat is good, because putting on it is so pleasurable. Cheesecake, mousse, biriyani, pizza, burgers, chocolate, hot chocolate, hot chocolate fudge, ice-cream, chicken, cookies, 'Appy fizz, cake, gulab jamuns, Pepsi, Coke...the list goes on till dawn, and it rocks rocks rocks.
Like that northie haracry said, I'm fat and sad. Time to hit the gym.
Yeah right.
Anyway, looks like track day has either been cancelled, or at best, postponed. So I guess we have to stick to street racing for now.
My head is empty. Full of shit, and so empty. Much like my life. I don't know what the fuck goes on everyday. I live in some crappy place now, where the sun don't shine. It's like living in someone's ass. It's gloomy and dark and my floor has shiny white tiles and I have a fluorescent tube on my wall. It's a lot like something from a bad sci-fi movie, except I don't have a tri-phase module to blow my enemies up with. And I can't talk to Scottie, because cell-phone reception is zilch. My computer is back online, and it's only now that I remember how much it SUCKS. It's like a zoo of viruses or whatevers, and it can't get through a single porn movie without shutting down or rebooting or hanging. And these are only 10 min movies.
I'm done complaining. Oh, and I'm really fat. But the fat is good, because putting on it is so pleasurable. Cheesecake, mousse, biriyani, pizza, burgers, chocolate, hot chocolate, hot chocolate fudge, ice-cream, chicken, cookies, 'Appy fizz, cake, gulab jamuns, Pepsi, Coke...the list goes on till dawn, and it rocks rocks rocks.
Like that northie haracry said, I'm fat and sad. Time to hit the gym.
Yeah right.
Anyway, looks like track day has either been cancelled, or at best, postponed. So I guess we have to stick to street racing for now.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Today it rained.
I sat alone and licked clean a spoon of cake. I missed you. I sat by the window, the empty chair in front of me mocking. Little rivulets of water ran down the glass, streaking along like tears across a face. Someone opened the door, and a sheet of water rushed in. The streets were deserted, save for a few autos lurking hopefully. People ran for shelter. I wish I could run. I ate to push my sorrows away. Cake and quiche. Sunny food, to be eaten in the wash of bright sunshine. Now the cake is done, and I toy with the spoon. Shoo the waiter away, to sit alone in peace. The buzz of teenies resonates. Yet it is silent. Noise it may be, yet there is nothing to listen to. I wonder which cake to choose. Choices. One or the other. No one to choose but me. No one to know but me.
I miss you. Like the deserts miss the rain. I wish I could do better. Not do what I do wrong. Do it right. Just do it. I am what I am, but I wish I weren't. You make me want to be a better person.
"She says "we've got to hold on to what we got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not""
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free. I wish I could be serious when I should be and full of joy when I can be. I wish I was right. You know you're right. And I forget just what it is that makes me smile, I find it hard and it's hard to find. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.
How did so much become so little? And something so small grow into something so big? Where is all the promise? Why is there so much to look forward to?
"...sometimes I wait forever, to stand out in the rain, so no one sees me crying, trying to wash away the pain."
I sat alone and licked clean a spoon of cake. I missed you. I sat by the window, the empty chair in front of me mocking. Little rivulets of water ran down the glass, streaking along like tears across a face. Someone opened the door, and a sheet of water rushed in. The streets were deserted, save for a few autos lurking hopefully. People ran for shelter. I wish I could run. I ate to push my sorrows away. Cake and quiche. Sunny food, to be eaten in the wash of bright sunshine. Now the cake is done, and I toy with the spoon. Shoo the waiter away, to sit alone in peace. The buzz of teenies resonates. Yet it is silent. Noise it may be, yet there is nothing to listen to. I wonder which cake to choose. Choices. One or the other. No one to choose but me. No one to know but me.
I miss you. Like the deserts miss the rain. I wish I could do better. Not do what I do wrong. Do it right. Just do it. I am what I am, but I wish I weren't. You make me want to be a better person.
"She says "we've got to hold on to what we got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not""
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free. I wish I could be serious when I should be and full of joy when I can be. I wish I was right. You know you're right. And I forget just what it is that makes me smile, I find it hard and it's hard to find. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.
How did so much become so little? And something so small grow into something so big? Where is all the promise? Why is there so much to look forward to?
"...sometimes I wait forever, to stand out in the rain, so no one sees me crying, trying to wash away the pain."
Saturday, June 03, 2006
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