So some girl in NPS killed herself. Over exam results. Nandita something. This is not a reflection of her life or anything. I don't or didn't know her.

What was she thinking? I mean literally. When she strung herself up, and looked down and said, well, this is it, what was she thinking? No more ice-cream. No more hugs. No more madness. No more giggles. No more blue skies. All for some stupid results. Which she'd probably do ok at anyway, considering it's NPS.

Maybe her parents suck. Maybe they put too much pressure. Maybe they didn't care what she thought or wanted or did, as long as it was what they wanted. Maybe they were living their IIT/MBBS/LLB/B.Com/whatever dreams through her, much to her angst. Maybe they didn't keep their eyes open. Maybe they didn't tell her how much they loved her and cared about her, no matter what she does. Maybe they never told her they were proud of her. Maybe they are really sorry right now. I hope they are.

I wonder how it feels to have nobody to love. Nobody to hold. No shoulder to cry on. No arms to fall into. No eyes to look into. No ear to listen to you. No hand to clasp warmly. No songs to sing. No skies to look at in wonder. Nowhere to go, no one to go to.

I thought this random person's death didn't affect me, but I guess it does. In ways that I'm only beginning to discover, I feel a sense of loss and outrage. Goodbye, random chick, and godspeed.

I thought I'd end with a single line. It became a couplet. A sonnet. Now it's a song.

"She's taking her time making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside
Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one
They're saying, "Mama never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection"
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

She can't remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was color blind
All her friends they've been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined
She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
And reaching out for human faith Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"
So baby's gonna take a dive and
Push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging
All her hopes on the stars
What a pleasant dream
She's sayin

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?"