Blah. Bleah. Bleargh.

Snap out of it. Stop moaning.

How?


"When you try and try and you don't succeed..."

Things I've learnt over the last year or so:

- Most people suck.

- You cannot trust anyone.

- Friends are an illusion. Friendship, doubly so. People take what they want, and give what they feel like. If this mutual whoremongering works out, beautiful. Otherwise, fuck off.

- It's your life. No one else cares. Don't expect them to, either.

- It has little to do with how hard you work or strive for something. Shit happens.

- Alcohol never solved anything. But then, neither did milk. So drink as much as you want.

- I'm really bad with money.

- Grab that holiday while you can. You may never get the chance again.

- Grab whatever it is, while you can. You may never get the chance again.

- Nothing lasts forever.

- Driving drunk may be dangerous, but it's fun as hell.

- When faced with a situation, ask yourself 'What's the point?' The right path will become apparent.

- Most people don't suck. They all do.

For teaching me to

Believe. Laugh. Learn. Love. Live. Dance. Listen. Smile. Trust. Think. See. Enjoy. Dream. Cry. Covet. Hold. Touch. Sense. Care. Open my eyes. Take pride in. Believe in myself. Speak my mind. Hold a hand. Lean on someone. Break free. Be brave. Think about myself. Live for today. Live for someone. Believe in someone. Give it all I've got. Give it a shot. Open my eyes. Take joy in. Smell the flowers. Chase the sun.

For teaching me to be me, by being you.

Thank you.

Sadhappy.

To the man who had the vision to change history. Who had the courage to pursue his dream. Who had the faith in his people, and his country, to overcome all odds.

Fifty years from now, they will speak of it in the same breath as the Beetle, and the Model T. And then we will say, yes, we were there. We saw it take shape. We were there.

Ratan Tata, I bow to you.


"A promise is a promise."

Someone wise once said: "The hardest thing you can do is make people believe. To believe in you. To believe in themselves. To believe in the truth."

I startle myself.

The new year resolution is happy, or bust.

So, within a given timeframe, I will be (tick one):
- Happy [ ]
- Bust [ ]

Thing is, I don't know the timeframe.


"C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin a blue rock
On a blue bus"

I think Bangalore is beautiful.

.

.

"We all live in a yellow submarine"

"You don't win silver, you lose gold."

So this is how it feels to not get what you want.

"Second is first among the losers."

Rage. Blood red rage.

Lots of anger and hate.

"Young at heart and it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now"

It seems so far away, just like yesterday, an eternity ago, little large heads with big, wide eyes and curly hair. Driving home for the first time, like everytime.

"So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see"

It feels like I've failed this really big exam and now I have to face the consequences. My throat swells up with fear/anxiety, my cheeks flush, my head and eyes ache, all the usual "Erm, Mom and Dad, I didn't do too well..." symptoms. Except they don't go away. For weeks on end.

"When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time"

Lots of hate. Lots of love.

Lots of questions.

"Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven"

"I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die "

Ironically,

"Tommy whispers 'Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
It doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not"

In the end, Ozzy is always right...

"You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long
Mama, I'm coming home"

This has been the worst year ever. I hope I never see another one like it.

Fuck off 2007.

They will perform his last rites tomorrow morning, when children wake up to find their presents.

First it was The Bangalore Torpedo. Then it was Essel. Then hAAthi. Now Sister Bliss has disappeared. The world is shrinking, and it ain't very nice.



In memory of a tale, untitled, written by my own mother Mary.


"And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be."

Writing helps. Or atleast, it makes me happy.


"Remember the day
I set you free"

"So let it out and let it in..."

It's like all the constants are disappearing. The familiar and mundane are no more. It's a whole new world, and no one's told me how to live in it.

Guess who's gone?!

And I feel totally youknowwhatted. Six big fat fuckin' drinks at Opus doesn't help. Neither does the fact that I got most of the answers right, but my team-mate forgot to write our table number down.

This made up it for somewhat. I actually kept ahead of him for a bit.


"A wild ride, over stony ground
Such a lust for life, the circus comes to town
We are the hungry ones, on a lightning raid
Just like a river runs, like a fire needs flame"

For some reason, at this moment, I wish I were Shilo.


"...soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing, cos I'd know how it feels to be free"

The 14th was one of the worst days of my life.

Cheerupcheerupcheerupchinupcheerup. Whoopdedoo then.

Oh, and the Torpedo & The Other have upped and left. Sex bomb.

When it rains, it fucking comes down like everyone's just pissing all over you. After an all-night drinking session.

And WHY THE FUCK DOES MY WMP ALWAYS PLAY IRIS?! Do I fucking look like I need to hear 'You're the closest to heaven I'll ever be'?!

No fucking song for anyone today. Fuck off.


ps. sounds like Dr Pissed.

What if... a long, long time ago... somebody told you that you would one day live on a beautiful planet, surrounded by stars and mountains and oceans and where almost anything was possible...

What if they told you that you'd have the ability to laugh and sing and love... and that you'd also be met by many interesting, sometimes painful challenges, all of them designed to teach you important lessons you will need for future journeys.

What if somebody told you this hundreds of years ago - before you were even born? Would you have believed them?


"Mother mother, tell your children
That their time has just begun"