To recap my summer...
I never heard back from a 'sure thing' internship.
I went mad.
I flew across half the world to surprise a bunch of people. All were surprised. Some were happy.
I dropped the ball somewhere. Unfortunately, my heart was in there too, and it shattered. I'm still sweeping up the pieces, but I can't seem to find them all.
I got fat.
I rediscovered the joy of eating Indian food. And there is a lot of joy in that.
I got to drive.
I applied to another internship. They responded, but too late.
I came home expecting to find somethings, understand, and maybe consolidate the goings on in my life. Instead, I've come undone and I haven't the faintest clue of what's going on. I don't think it's a particularly healthy way to be at my ripe age, but then I'm always wrong, so maybe I'm wrong about this too. Silver lining much?
Somewhere I think there's a disconnect in the way I think - between what I feel I deserve, and what I actually deserve. I suspect I view myself with rose-tinted glasses, complete with a halo around my large head.
I'm horrible at understanding people, and it is always my undoing. It is particularly, and heart-rendingly ironic that I can claim to care for someone and be so caught up in 'doing the right thing' that I don't actually do what is needed. And evidently over the last 10 years, I haven't learnt much.
I'm broke. This will be a year of no alcohol - not that I drink that much - and very little luxury. By luxury, of course, I mean chocolates.
At least I won't be fat anymore.
"Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams..."
I never heard back from a 'sure thing' internship.
I went mad.
I flew across half the world to surprise a bunch of people. All were surprised. Some were happy.
I dropped the ball somewhere. Unfortunately, my heart was in there too, and it shattered. I'm still sweeping up the pieces, but I can't seem to find them all.
I got fat.
I rediscovered the joy of eating Indian food. And there is a lot of joy in that.
I got to drive.
I applied to another internship. They responded, but too late.
I came home expecting to find somethings, understand, and maybe consolidate the goings on in my life. Instead, I've come undone and I haven't the faintest clue of what's going on. I don't think it's a particularly healthy way to be at my ripe age, but then I'm always wrong, so maybe I'm wrong about this too. Silver lining much?
Somewhere I think there's a disconnect in the way I think - between what I feel I deserve, and what I actually deserve. I suspect I view myself with rose-tinted glasses, complete with a halo around my large head.
I'm horrible at understanding people, and it is always my undoing. It is particularly, and heart-rendingly ironic that I can claim to care for someone and be so caught up in 'doing the right thing' that I don't actually do what is needed. And evidently over the last 10 years, I haven't learnt much.
I'm broke. This will be a year of no alcohol - not that I drink that much - and very little luxury. By luxury, of course, I mean chocolates.
At least I won't be fat anymore.
"Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams..."
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