Four boys meet.

Twelve years on, they meet again.

One of them is a drug dealer. One of them is a failed engineer. One of them is a restaurateur. One of them is an investment banker. One of them is always drunk. One of them builds cars. One of them builds portfolios. One of them bakes cakes. One of them may be gay. One of them may be dead soon.

One of them looks at the others with amusement. One of them envies the others for what they have. One of them envies the others for what they have become. One of them envies the others for what they can be.

One of them is me.


"We've come a long, long way together,
Through the bad times and the good.
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should."

Happy Holi!

I know what it's like. I used to work with them. You can make that 68.

......

...I hope you're standing.

Memories of a different time. A simpler time. The magic of YouTube and the right search words.

Sweet memories. They sure don't make them like they used to.

"Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide..."

Will someone please take the bullseye off my back? I can't seem to reach it.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Clemens, S.L.

Do this: Sit down. Pass the back of your hand near your nose and mouth. You will feel nothing. Now close your eyes and do it again. You will feel the warmth of your hand on your lips. You will smell your hand. You will be able to pinpoint sounds and their sources more accurately.

When you lose your sight, the other senses try to compensate by amplifying themselves. This doesn't happen with any other sense. Maybe that's because sight is the most important.

Right now, the thing I'd like second-to-most is to learn to take good photographs. Pictures are like frozen slices of time, that you can always go back to. Music may bring memories of a time back, but pictures actually take you there.


"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art."

Closed books are better than open ones. They stay cleaner.

Work is what you're busy doing while life passes you by.

One of the most humbling feelings is to look at your parents, and wish you were them.

So I was looking at my tshirt and wondering.

It's one of those things that your parents bring you in the hope that you'll grow into. My dad lugged it back from DC in the summer of 95, and promptly mothballed it until 2003, whereupon I used it as a rag/mop/bathmat and also wore while doing things to my Herald.

It came out of a 4-pack of them. I asked my dad why on earth he bought 4 tshirts that said Washington DC, and he was like, "Oh there was this Korean family selling them outside the Smithsonian, and it seemed like a bargain". Typical.

Even as a kid, it made me wonder. Selling tshirts outside a museum struck me as the sort of thing poor people did, and at 10 I didn't realise there were poor people in America. I mean, everyone drank Coke and ate burgers, and drove cars.

Then I began to understand. How some people are immigrants. How some people have no choice. How some people give it all up to start afresh, in the hope that things will be better.

It takes guts.

Once in a while, I think about that Korean family. I hope they made it. That their kids went to Harvard or Columbia or MIT, or wherever they wanted to. That they bought their Buick and paid off their mortgage.

It can't be too easy to leave your homeland. They're not particularly good at English, them Koreans. What made them leave the warmth and security of their country, to gamble on a better life thousands of miles away? No knowledge of where they were going, no one to fall back on, no guarantee of success.

Just hope.

It's always hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope that one day, your children will have a better life than you did. Hope that you will have all that you ever wanted. Hope that one day you will find happiness.


"And it’s hope that keeps me holding on
It’s just hope that makes me carry on"

Blah. Bleah. Bleargh.

Snap out of it. Stop moaning.

How?


"When you try and try and you don't succeed..."

Things I've learnt over the last year or so:

- Most people suck.

- You cannot trust anyone.

- Friends are an illusion. Friendship, doubly so. People take what they want, and give what they feel like. If this mutual whoremongering works out, beautiful. Otherwise, fuck off.

- It's your life. No one else cares. Don't expect them to, either.

- It has little to do with how hard you work or strive for something. Shit happens.

- Alcohol never solved anything. But then, neither did milk. So drink as much as you want.

- I'm really bad with money.

- Grab that holiday while you can. You may never get the chance again.

- Grab whatever it is, while you can. You may never get the chance again.

- Nothing lasts forever.

- Driving drunk may be dangerous, but it's fun as hell.

- When faced with a situation, ask yourself 'What's the point?' The right path will become apparent.

- Most people don't suck. They all do.

For teaching me to

Believe. Laugh. Learn. Love. Live. Dance. Listen. Smile. Trust. Think. See. Enjoy. Dream. Cry. Covet. Hold. Touch. Sense. Care. Open my eyes. Take pride in. Believe in myself. Speak my mind. Hold a hand. Lean on someone. Break free. Be brave. Think about myself. Live for today. Live for someone. Believe in someone. Give it all I've got. Give it a shot. Open my eyes. Take joy in. Smell the flowers. Chase the sun.

For teaching me to be me, by being you.

Thank you.

Sadhappy.

To the man who had the vision to change history. Who had the courage to pursue his dream. Who had the faith in his people, and his country, to overcome all odds.

Fifty years from now, they will speak of it in the same breath as the Beetle, and the Model T. And then we will say, yes, we were there. We saw it take shape. We were there.

Ratan Tata, I bow to you.


"A promise is a promise."

Someone wise once said: "The hardest thing you can do is make people believe. To believe in you. To believe in themselves. To believe in the truth."

I startle myself.

The new year resolution is happy, or bust.

So, within a given timeframe, I will be (tick one):
- Happy [ ]
- Bust [ ]

Thing is, I don't know the timeframe.


"C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin a blue rock
On a blue bus"