Alcohol magnifies.

Everything.


"We don't need no false control."

1. What is your middle name?
I don't have one.

2. How big is your bed?
Big enough for me.

3.What are you listening to right now?
Agnisakshi - Kitna Mushkil Hai.

4. What was the last thing you ate?
One scoop fig 'n' honey, one scoop butterscotch.

5. Last person you hugged?
Teju Auntie. My mom.

6. How is the weather right now?
Cold. Rainy.

7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I think it was Sreshta.

8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The way they look?!

9. Favorite type of Food?
Edible. Spicy. Tangy. Tasty. Non-vegetarian. Dessert. Icecream.

10. Do you want children?
Yes. But I can't have them.

11. Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Yes.

12. Last Movie you watched?
Johnny Gaddaar.

13. Do you have any piercings?
None. Needles terrify me.

14. Favorite Movie?
T2: Judgement Day. Blade. I don't know, there are just so many.

15. What were you doing before filling this out?
Random reading.

16. Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.

17. Who would you like to see right now?
Someone who gives me a shitload of money.

18. What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream/off white. Bleah.

19. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes. Many. Airguns. 9mms. LMGs. MMGs. HMGs.

20. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yes

21. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right-handed.

22. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
The past.

23. Are you missing someone?
Yes. No. It's a tough call.

24. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
No, but I wish I did.

25. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Still my bike.

26. Favorite hangout:
Used to be Purple Haze. Then Spinn. In between, a succession of garages and Coffee Days, and a Barista. Now I think it's Sutra.

27. 3 things you can't live without?
Speed. Food. Sleep.

28. Favorite songs?
A lot of Bon Jovi, GNR, I love rock. Some Tupac. Shit man, I listen to a lot of stuff.

29. What are you afraid of?
The future. Myself.

30. Are you a giver or a taker?
I would like to say both, but I suspect it's a bit more of the latter.

31. What are your nicknames?
I don't have any, unless you count fuckshay and viper.

32. What do you sleep in?
Boxers

33. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
Satellite phone with full network coverage and battery.

34. First thing you'll save in a fire?
People! Myself!!

35. What is your favorite color?
BLUE!!!

36. What are the things you always bring with you?
Phones. Money, if I have any.

37. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
Nothing major. A Harvard MBA. I'm really boring.

38. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
Put it off and go back to sleep.

39. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Whether I will fall asleep. How tough it would be to drive an LP640 in Bangalore.


"We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines"

"You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly." That's what my fortune is today, on orkut.

I'm going to be a porn star.

"Sexy sexy sexy, mujhe log bole
Hi sexy, hello sexy, kyun bole?"

Things that I miss:
Companionship. Someone to take care of me. Someone to call at 3:21 am. Someone to laugh with. Friendship. Laughs. Someone to cry at. Someone to hold. Someone to hold me when I'm drunk. Someone to drive me home. Someone to drive home. Someone to giggle with. Someone who understands me. Someone to write letters to. Someone to hang out with. Someone to be myself wth. Someone to share long drives with. Someone to dance with. Someone to love.

"When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?"

I feel like shit.

"And it's hard to hold on
When there's no one to lean on..."

The best things in life.

"My heart's like an open book
For the whole world to read
Sometimes nothing keeps me
Together at the seams

I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Home sweet home"

The wonder of flight is one thing. But this is different. This was paid for.

This, I earned.


"I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers..."

Today I'm the person who drops it all for you. Tomorrow I'm just another strange face, in another strange place.

Nothing is more crushing than not being treated the way you treat someone else.

'...but life still goes on..."

Everybody lies. White black pink, they're all there, all the time. It's not lying, it's just your version of the truth.

'Maybe if you just tell me a lie...'

I've never felt more pathetic in my life.

It's a dark and rainy night...



...and I'm looking at someone else's drink!


"Kyun aaj-kal neend kam, khwaab zyaada hai..."

...or how forks are always better to use...


"Forget what we're told..."

A walk. At midnight.
A drive. Along a winding road.
A drink. At the bar.
A movie. On the couch.
A smile. In a faded phototgraph.

A memory. From the past.

"Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life"

"Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem... to find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure"



"Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
Yes I've gotta have faith..."

I've slept 16 hours straight. I suspect it's because I'm not well. I also suspect that that's just a convenient excuse.

School and cable TV. Wednesday nights at 9.30. Did you see what happened?!

6 years later...

School and cable TV. Every evening at 5.00. Did you see what happened?!

I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

'Tis the season of grass, and watching old matches brings back memories. Of curling into a chair to watch people scale height of greatness that mortals only dream about. And that brought back some memories. Of gods among men. And women.

Fraulein Forehand : The greatest women's player of my childhood. I only began to appreciate how great when she was near retirement. Her mastery was absolute, her dedication was laser-like, her forehand was savage.

Czech mate: She did it all. And did it all again. And again. The unstoppable Martina.

The Punisher: From the long-haired freak with the neon racquet at my first Championships, to the man who overcame everything to win again. The only man to be ranked Top 10 in 3 different decades.

Pistol Pete: The king of Wimbledon. Simply the best. Like Becker said "He has the keys to the place". A serve that was poetry in motion, a backhand that was devastating, a game that was perfect.

The Rabbit: Always No. 1 to me. The heartbreak of losing 3 finals, a wildcard entry, and then this. An epic, 3 hour plus five-setter. The only time I cried while watching anything. Probably the best serve ever. "In every game I play there are three players in me that could surface anytime, Good Goran, Bad Goran, Crazy Goran! They can all serve aces."

.

.

"For those of you, for those who rock

Yeah

We salute you"

This place used to be funny. Look at the archives. Now I'm just all sad blah blah depressed blah blah self-doubt blah blah.

I want to go back to the old me. 2003. That was probably the single best year of my life. Probably.

"Oh how I want to be free, baby
Oh how I want to be free..."

Where I'm going next:



God's own country.

"Can't you see it in my eyes
This might be my last goodbye"